Not so Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving was a very different one.

It was the first Thanksgiving without my grandmother there.

She is still alive, but she is now in a care facility.

She has stage four, adrenal/lung cancer and for her own safety, due to a fall, and to lessen the stress on my grandfather, she went into one of the top of the line care facilities in Auburn. My sisters and uncles visited her during the day, but my mom and I stayed at home to prepare for the meal.

Naturally my grandfather didn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner. He stayed at the care facility with my grandmother and ate dinner with her. So Thanksgiving was short two people, leaving us with only thirteen at the table.

My mom had made a fabulous turkey and my sisters had made wonderful sides. It was great to see my family. My cousins I only see once a year, even though they only live in Minden, Nevada, which is like a two-three hour drive.

Not really that far.

Every Thanksgiving they come over to see us and stay for a couple days. Their dad comes with them, my mom’s brother, but their mother never comes. I would say that I haven’t seen her for a good seven, maybe eight years.

Being the youngest, I am still not quite clear on why she does not come. She used to come to Thanksgiving, but ceased to do so when they move to Minden. Though even when we lived in Solvang, my uncle would come all the way down with my cousin and spend time with us.
Apparently she stays home while they are gone and decorates the house for Christmas and has her “me” time. I find it to be very bazaar that she would not want to spend her Thanksgiving with her family.
I’ve heard that it’s because she does not like my Grandfather, which is understandable, since he isn’t the easiest to get along with.

He’s an Aries. Need I say more?

He likes to work the room, tell his jokes and be the center of attention. After awhile it really gets to be kind of old. Also it is near impossible to have a conversation with him. It’s very one-sided.

He talks.

You listen.

That’s it.

So if that were the reason I would completely be on her side, and understand. I’ve also heard that it is because my uncle told my grandparents something embarrassing about her and her family.

Ok. That works, but after awhile you’ve got to get over it. It’s not like anyone is going to hold it
against you. Everyone’s got their own issues, so it doesn’t really matter.
But whatever the reason is, I think it’s kind of silly for her not to spend time with her family on Thanksgiving.

My cousin’s are six and twelve. The oldest is getting to an age where she has to be wondering why her mother doesn’t come, and knows that it probably isn’t because she has to get the house all ready for the next holiday.

That would be an interesting conversation to be a fly on the wall for.

Then we get to my other uncle and his new wife, wife number three. You know what they say, third time’s a charm. I swear they are absolutely perfect for each other.

Each perfectly giving the rest of the family the cold shoulder. Got to love a couple who are so perfectly matched.

For reasons that I won’t go into, since I am steadily approaching the word limit, he and my mom aren’t entirely getting along at the moment and the sentiment has stretched to the entire family.
He and his wife were very guarded the entire night and where among the first to leave, with my late arriving grandfather.


Everyone was out by nine, which was perfect since I had to be up at three, to go to work for the ever exciting Black Friday.

But that’s a story for another column.